Tuesday, 30th of August, 2016
“Our house loves us, that is why it is so hard to leave.” I said to Cam as I was hugging the door jam of our house. I think I have explained that I personify almost everything in our life. Everything has feelings and communicates, chairs, plants, kitchen utensils, and yes, our house. This home has been a wonderful protector of us and as the last day approached, which is today, I started to become sentimental. Since I am me though, it was obvious that our house was sentimental too. My feelings were surely not entirely my own?
“Our house is going to miss us.” I said to Cam. “It has loved us, because we are here all the time, filling it up with laughter.” I said, adding to my imagination, and reflecting on just how precious life in these walls as been. “We really lived in this house.” I said with gratitude. It was true too, all day every day our children grew up here.
“You know, this is the longest I have ever lived in one house.” I said to Cam. “Well I lived at the Goonellabah house Mum bought for a little longer, but not consecutively. I moved out when I was 16, then moved back when I was 18.”
Cam was not really listening. He was taking his lunch break trying to relax so I took my talkative self elsewhere. He did not seem convinced the house would miss us and in a firm voice he said. “Are you getting your jobs done?” It was true, I was using that moment to escape packing duty. So I went back down to the basement to sort through the children’s artwork and collage papers and artist papers. I saved the hardest job for last.
By the end of the day I had done a lot. Scrubbing the oven until it was cleaner than it ever had been, emptying the fridge and all the kitchen cupboards where now both crossed off the list. Then I somehow managing to make a superb meal from the few ingredients we had left. I marveled at what a whizz I was. Look, if you can not be pleased with your own cleverness and ability, no one else will either. So there I was, feeling pleased for all the work finally coming together, and the delicious meal I had made. Thank goodness!
When Cam was done with his day of cyber security, he came to find me to see if he could help with packing. I suggest he sort the tool box. A large metal box had been left by the previous owners and bit by bit we had added more tools to it, but we have not ever cleaned it out. I started going through it the other day then Cam protested saying he wanted to either leave it or give it away. “Oh no, I want that stuff.” I said ruefully. Then Cam felt some kind obligation to go through it himself. Which I am glad he did because he seemed to enjoy it. As I came upon him sitting in a pile of vintage tools. He lifted up an old miniature oil can that was made and used prior to aerosol sprays. “Look at this!” He said, squeezing the trigger.
“I came down here to keep you company” I said. All of my jobs in the basement were now done. But I felt like being with my husband. As he sorted tools, I chatted. “Do you think I am ever going to write my books, or am I just going to talk about it forever?” I asked as I slid my hands along the rope clothesline. I pegged a lot of clothes on that line over the years. “You are just going to talk about it.” Cam said without missing a beat. “That might be true. Or it might not!” I said in a chipper voice. “We will just have to see!”
This will be the first period of my life since having children that I will have consecutive days, with numerous hours to work undisturbed. How this time will be used, is on my mind. “Well, I think it is safe to say, I will do some sewing, lots of cooking, some drawing, some painting, lost of writing and some paid work… I wonder what job I will get?”
I seem to have the measure just right a the moment, of believing in myself, but not putting myself under too much pressure. “Mercury retrograde will be helpful for figuring that out.” I said, thinking of the wonderful planet that was appearing to station in the cosmos as we spoke.
Earlier in the day I had read Mystic Mama’s work on Mercury Retrograde , it was a great perspective, and I was feeling really good about this next cosmic phase. Astrology helps ease into the future… if you get it.
“We need some more boxes.” I said to Cam. This was not an excuse not to pack, it was the truth. “Are the boxes better at Home Depot or Staples?” He asked. “Well, Homes Depot is better, but I do not want to buy any. It is recycling tomorrow so I have been waiting and I am going to collect some boxes off the street.” I said. Cam looked at me like he was suspicious that I was trying to delay packing.
When the sun set I could see that the majority of the neighbors had their refuse out on the curb. “Let’s go for a family walk and collect boxes! We can take the wagon.” I said enthusiastically. The girls were excited because anything involving the wagon is awesome right now. It was a perfect evening for a stroll, we piled the wagon high with cardboard and Elle sat on the back, dangling her legs, keeping a box on her lap secure with her chin. The box tower on wheels and my family was a delightful silhouette against the setting sun.
“People in Montclair drink a lot of wine.” I said as I added yet another wine box to the top of the mobile box tower. “The wine boxes are a good size.” I said, thinking it was in our favor on this evening.
The sun set and rose again. On waking this morning I was very aware this would be our last full day and night at number 10. The crickets and cicadas were quiet. “I knew it!” I said. “The other day was their celebration.” In my imagination the insects have a festival at the end of summer, which is why they made so much noise the other day. The noise from that morning was so intense, and today, they were quiet. Well not quiet, there is always a slight buzz, but the other day, wow. Loud insects happiness.
We are looking forward to meeting more wildlife in Maine.
“Do you think we will see a bear in our yard?” Cam had asked. “Well maybe, we are right on the waterfall trail, so I think the animals will be drawn to the water. We know we will see porcupines!” I said. Thinking of the one we met last time. What a lesson that was. Porcupines think they are good stuff, they think they are invincible. Which they sort of are with all those spikes. They have a fearlessness. They command their own space. They are slow and steady, and never feel rushed because no one bothers them. They meander along on porcupine time, in porcupine ways. They are committed, mating for life. When their quills are up, they are filled with air, so they are buoyant and light. The only thing that seems to get them, is fast cars.
We are taking our time driving up, and staying in Connecticut along the way.
In two days we will be there.
Thank you for reading Magnesium Blue